Rethinking Me

I had a less than fulfilling zazen (meditation) session this morning before getting ready for work. My mind wouldn’t settle. I couldn’t find a comfortable way to sit so I fidgeted my way through most of the 15 minutes.

This was my second morning in a row of sitting before starting the rest of my day. I’ve tried various meditation habits over the years, and I’ve recently become inspired to begin the practice again thanks to the book Hardcore Zen. In it, Brad Warner writes that we shouldn’t sit zazen waiting for enlightenment to miraculously happen. Instead, the very act of sitting — of taking time every day to stare your existence in the face and try to better understand it — is enlightenment. In other words doing the work IS the reward.

So today was the second day of my new zazen practice, and it didn’t go quite as I had planned. Or did it? I planned to sit and be still for 15 minutes. I sat and was still for 15 minutes.

I did the work today. I plan to do the work tomorrow.

Each day I expect I will see different results. What matters most is that I do the work so each day I experience those results.

posted: 11 March 29
under: Rethinking